


knowing better

by alexdxnvers



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, I'm still shook, Luthors, SuperCorp, but there's hints, inspired by the blessing that was the entire Lena plot of Luthors, they aren't straight-up dating in this, they'll figure it our eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 15:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9767867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexdxnvers/pseuds/alexdxnvers
Summary: Lena knows better.AKA the one where Lena contemplates her recent ordeal and the truth she wasn't expecting. And, the one where Lena knows better, but this time, it doesn't matter, because of Kara Danvers.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is probably the biggest example of me starting with one small idea and then it turning into something else completely, wow, I'm sorry.

Lena knows better.

Lena knows, after years and years and _years_ of just asking herself _why_ and trying to figure out where it all went wrong, that it’s better to just compartmentalize everything and move on. Looking back has never helped anything, and is really just more than Lena wants to have to deal with while trying to claw her way out from under the Luthor shadow. She can do without the distraction, and she can definitely deal without the inevitably attached emotions getting in the way.

It’s gotten easier though, to keep the past out of mind nowadays (because Lena’s only human, and she spends so much time on her own, and god, she slips up so often and hates herself a little bit more every time). Lena only has Kara Danvers to thank for that. It’s so easy to not think about the past when the present means Kara by her side, and Kara bringing her lunch when she knows Lena gets too busy to remember to eat, and Kara bringing donuts when she thinks Lena needs the cheering up, and Kara treating her like an actual person and not just a means to an end. It’s new for Lena, this feeling of someone liking you and actually caring, and thinking about it is quite possibly Lena’s favorite distraction. Even when her life is hurled back into a living hell and the media is quick to start dragging her name back through the mud and her life is back in Lillian’s hands, Lena’s upset and devastated, but her soul isn’t quite shattering the way it used to when things like this happened when she was younger, and the hope she’s started to find during the past few months doesn’t desert her throughout the whole ordeal.

Because of Kara Danvers.

Because Lena may be terrified, but it’s less for herself and more for Kara. She’s terrified that the NCPD arresting her might be the final straw, might finally be what it takes to finally get through to Kara that she’s a Luthor and can’t be trusted, _isn’t even worth the effort._ The fear lingers even as Kara protests, even as Kara’s eyes blaze as she tries to argue with every officer in the hallway as they wait for the elevators, even when Kara tries to follow her and Detective Sawyer from the building. It lingers through the hours it takes to get Lena processed, and finally subsides when Maggie (who has barely left a room Lena was sitting in this whole time, save for a few occasions, Lena can’t help but notice) escorts Lena to her cell. As Lena steps in, heart in her throat and wondering when it came to this, Maggie reaches out and lets her fingers brush Lena’s wrist, and Maggie says quietly, “For what’s it worth, and I think this is you should know, Le- Miss Luthor... Kara’s out there fighting to get you out of here right now.”

Then, as Lena blinks and again marvels at Kara’s ability to make friends seemingly everywhere in National City, Maggie offers up a small, sad smile, and adds, “I don’t think she’s ever going to give up on you.”

Maggie leaves (but not before shooting Lena a strangely... knowing look?), and Lena’s alone in the cold and dim light. She knows that her fear and anger and despair should be overwhelming her, but all Lena can concentrate on is the glowing warmth in her chest.

“You have no one on your side,” Lillian says, and the remark should sting. But it doesn’t, because the first thing that pops into Lena’s head is a memory of Kara laughing over their lunches and flashing a wide grin at Lena, and Lena knows that the world could go up in flames and Kara would still be by her side.

And Lena was almost certain before, but she knows for sure the moment Supergirl explodes into the building, eyes ablaze with the same anger that Lena had last seen on Kara’s face in her office. Lena can’t help the way her heart practically soars, something she’s come to over-associate with Kara, and the second “Kara Danvers believes in you” makes it’s way out of Supergirl’s mouth, Lena _knows_ that she was a hundred percent correct, and if the situation weren’t quite so dire, Lena would be laughing, because Kara Danvers is _Supergirl_ and honestly, it’s amazing that Kara still believes that the ridiculous glasses are capable of fooling anyone who gets close enough to her.

But Lena’s not going to be the one to tell her that, not going to be the one to ruin Kara’s innocence and blind trust, not today.

Lena doesn’t have to conscious and feeling Kara’s hands on her, lifting her up, cradling her against the force of the wind as they speed away, to know that she’s safe now, and that she can trust Kara to bring them home.

Lena wakes up in a lab and her first reaction is to panic, but Alex Danvers is by her side checking medical equipment, and Maggie Sawyer there to take a statement (that woman always seems to be hiding a smirk at something, and on any other day Lena would make it her mission to figure out what’s up). And Lena is dazed, and her head hurts, and all she can think is _Kara, Kara, Kara._ There’s a commotion in the hallway and someone shouting Kara’s name in a panic, and then Kara’s there too, her glasses askew and her clothes a mess and she’s grabbing Lena’s hands and talking almost too fast to be kept up with, and it’s almost all Lena can do to assure her that she’s fine.

And she is, because her first and truest friend is there.

And Lena suddenly realizes that she hasn’t thanked Kara nearly enough for everything she’s done for her, for everything _Supergirl’s_ done for her, and on he first day back in the office she doesn’t even hesitate to have Kara’s favorite Chinese food sent over to CatCo for lunch, and then having Kara’s office filled with flowers when Lena knows that Kara’s out on Supergirl business.

Lena knows she’s probably being five hundred kinds of extra, but frankly she doesn’t care, and it’s a good feeling to have someone to be nice to for no reason (and yet, really, for every reason) at all after twenty something years.

Lena knows better.

And yet when Kara leaves her office for the day, Lena sits down and notes the chessboard in front of her, and suddenly her own words of “I’ve never had family like you” are echoing through her mind. Lena picks up a piece, and she sees Lex, playing that first game with her, taking her small hand and leading her gently to a distant corner of the house and trying to distract her with talk about the game all throughout that first week, while Lionel and Lillian shouted downstairs, arguing about his actions, _arguing about Lena._ Lena remembers being confused, and scared, and overwhelmed, because Lillian had praised her after she won that first game with Lex, hadn’t she? But Lena remembers how quickly she learned that peace was a short-term thing in the Luthor household, especially when it came to her.

Lillian’s words now on her mind, Lena thinks back, remembering the way Lionel’s face had softened whenever he reached out his hand to her, or drew her into a hug. She remembers how Lionel had tried to support her while Lillian always drew back. Lena remembers the years of arguments about her between them, while Lex escaped these moments completely unscathed. Unscarred. Lena thinks about the outline of Lionel’s face, thinks about her own, thinks about the clues she’s missed but _shouldn’t have_ over the years.

Lena thinks about her mother. Her real mother. The woman with the warm smile who had left her. Lena thinks she remembers a hint of a warm bakery-esque smell accompanying being lifted into her arms. But Lena’s hand tightens around the chess piece, because she doesn’t know, and she can’t be sure, and for the life of her Lena can’t call up a sure memory of how her mother looked or sounded or acted, and she wants to throw the piece and curse those years in her childhood where she’d been filled with a bitter anger towards her parents for dying on her and had purposely tried to forget what little she did remember, and Lena regrets it, she regrets every moment of it, and she can’t take those memories back now.

Lena finally puts the chess piece back down, ignoring the sting in her hand, and gets up, moves to her desk, sorts through forms from legal and emails from investors and people who pretended to be her friends and those pesky media outlets clamoring for an interview. And when the past week finally catches up with her, Lena is drawn back to the couch. The chess board. The memories of everything that had gone wrong.

Lena knows better.

She overturns the chess board, and falls asleep curled up on her couch in her work clothes.

It’s the gentle thudding of boots landing on the balcony that begins to wake Lena, but her balcony is empty when Lena forces her eyes open, and she quickly nuzzles her face into her arm. But then, not even five minutes later, the doors to her office are quietly opening, and Kara’s there, stepping gingerly around the chess pieces.

“Hey,” she whispers, seeing Lena raise her head slightly.”

“Hey,” Lena manages to rasp back.

Kara pauses, fumbling over herself, and finally settling for, “You look tired, you should get more sleep.”

Lena lets out half a chuckle at that, though it ends on a slightly more subdued note as her eyes catch on the pieces across the floor, and she just kind of groans and lets her head sink back into her arms.

“That can’t be that comfortable,” Kara observes.

“It’s fine,” Lena would say to anyone else, but Kara gets a “Yeah, it’s really not” instead.

And Kara is fumbling again and hesitating, and Lena’s closing her eyes and is already beginning to think about Lillian’s steely gaze watching her, judging her, and then Lena hears Kara’s shoes hit the floor and hands are gently nudging her on the couch and making the space for Kara to lie down behind her and straighten out Lena’s limbs and draw her into a tight hug.

Lena knows better, but that doesn’t matter.

Because in this moment, everything that’s gone wrong is the furthest thing from her mind, and as Lena smiles and relaxes into Kara’s arms, all she can think about is everything that’s _finally_ going right.

**Author's Note:**

> I just like exploring Lena's character okay, that's really the only explanation for this fic.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading this!!! And as always, prompts/requests/etc for Supercorp and other ships are open on my tumblr alexdxnverss if there's something you'd like to see, or feel free to just drop by and say hi :)


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